I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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