Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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