And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
