He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
