so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
