he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize