Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
