Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
