He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
