Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
