I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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