i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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