What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
