Nicole vs. Life
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
