Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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