We're like a lot better than the average bears
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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