I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
ugly people sure do ruin things
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
