Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
farters have to be the big spoon...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
