Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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