the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
