Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
