I met the friendliest cop last night
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
