he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
