I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Are my feet made of real feet?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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