I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
