Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The feeling are messing with the penis
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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