Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
