Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
