i already hear my dad disowning me
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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