spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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