can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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