I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
