Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
