allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
