got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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