that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's never too late to be topless.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
