Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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