So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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