are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
