So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize