you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
