so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Im part way to drunk.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
