Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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