u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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