I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
