just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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