Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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