Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
