bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
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