he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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