but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
