Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
