ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
