We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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