I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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