I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We are all done wearing pants today
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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