so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
