glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you traded sex for a burrito?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
