Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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