you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
