Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
