Pappa wants mamma naked
false alarm. still invincible.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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